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Using My Past to Plan the Future

gloucks7 1 Comment

This weekend, I finally made it out for my first run of 2022, The intention was to run the Virtual WDW 10K at the Rose Bowl. However, that proved to be too ambitious. To be honest, I knew it was a lofty goal because my last training run came on November 6, 2021 and that run was for only 2 miles. As a matter of fact, the last time I completed more than a 5K was February 29, 2020 (as I was training for the Star Wars Rival Run Half Marathon Runs).

Going into this run at the Rose Bowl, I did remember how awful that first mile can be when you’re undertrained (as I am). My first two run intervals were okay but, I was pushing hard. So, I thought that if I took one run interval off, it might help. Maybe I make 2 of 3 run intervals. Well, that plan fell apart right away. As I tried my third run interval, I didn’t make it all the way to 30 seconds. So, I decided I would walk the rest of mile 1. After all, if mile 1 was the beast, walk most of it and save energy for later. I did get a few more run intervals in during mile 1 to give me a respectable 13:29 mile 1.

By the time mile 2 started, I was losing belief that I would get a full 10K in as began walking more and more. Once I got to the part of the loop that starts having more downhill and level running than climbing, I got brave and started running again. I finished mile 2 at around 29:53 (I think). At that point, I started believing I might find a way to make it through the whole 10K! However, somewhere between 3.25 and 3.50 miles, the wheels fell off again. I was slowing down (which is what happens in the last part of mile 3). My legs started feeling a little wobbly and I started wondering if it was truly worth it to push so hard when I hadn’t done so in so long. It was clearly a case of not remembering how hard I can push. But, by the time I got to 3.0 miles, I was ready to call it a day and just be happy I made it out to the Rose Bowl again.

After getting back to the car, I took some time to reflect on where I was on this running journey….where I hoped to go….how do I get there. I decided that I needed to go back and look over how my running journey has gone since finishing the 2017 NYC Marathon. It’s always sobering to look at the actual data and not the way you remember it. I saw in the spreadsheet a person who had a defined goal in the start of 2018 that helped in keeping some semblance of a running journey going. I completed 36 training runs/races in 2018. I do remember that my goal was to run a 5K without stopping. This fueled pretty consistent training on a treadmill. However, once I got to the run 3 minutes/walk 3 minutes part of the Couch to 5K program I was on, the wheels would fall off. I’d get sad about it. Miss a few runs. Then, start again. By my third missed attempt, I realized that running a 5K without any walk breaks might have been too lofty of a goal for someone as overweight as I was. The Virtual 5K runDisney races in the Summer got me back to training. It wasn’t like the Couch to 5K program kind of consistency. But, it was so much better than where I’d get to in 2019 and beyond.

In 2019, the wheels of this running journey started falling off. While I ran 3 different 5K’s in 2019, counting those 3 races, I recorded a total of 10 runs for the entire year. To be honest, there were a lot of factors in this. I went from 36 training runs in 2018 to 10 in 2019 due to a few factors. First off, in the start of 2018, my job situation went off the rails bad. I haven’t talked a lot about this with others, but, when I became a paralegal at Disney, my boss turned into a workplace bully. I’m not entirely sure why this happened. I don’t think I’ll ever know why. But, by March of 2018 my job headed in a bad direction. I’m pretty sure that it’s no coincidence that my training nose dived at that point as well (and it did). As a matter of fact, of the 36 runs I logged in during 2018, the first 21 came before April 1st. So, in the first three months, I logged in 21 runs. In the last 9 months, I logged in 14.

My anxiety levels grew considerably as I dealt with a boss would bring me in his office to yell at me for one thing or another at least once a week from the beginning of May 2018 through April 2019. It got so bad for me that I would end up dry heaving every morning at least once from the time I woke up until the time I got to work from June 2018 through May 2019. On the first Saturday of March 2019, I had my first anxiety attack. When you’re in the middle of being bullied at work, you think that you can find a way to make it go away. At least, I did. Even though several friends told me that my boss was being a bully, I didn’t want to believe them. After all, I was being yelled at for work related issues and not issues that would constitute harassment. It wasn’t until the end of 2019 that I realized this was bullying. We had to go through compliance training on various workplace issues each year. In 2019, Disney added a bullying module to go through on the harassment compliance training. As I watched the videos in this module, the tears became incontrollable as I watched actors play out scenes from my previous year and a half. By the beginning January 2020, I was blindsided with a second write up and news that I was being put on a performance improvement plan. If you’ve ever been on one of these “plans” you know that it is a mere formality towards getting fired. I filed a complaint with HR about the bullying. However, I’m sure that, by then, it looked like an employee just trying to save their job. So, I didn’t get much traction. Then, in August 2020, I was fired. To add insult to injury, my boss’s boss chose my birthday as my last day with the company. As you might imagine, there is sooooo much more to this story. However, I needed to share this because of its effect on my running journey.

As I mentioned, by 2019, I only ran 10 times for the entire year. Y’all, there have been months where I ran more than that. However, the physical toll of the bullying was killing my confidence in myself, leading to lower energy levels, and the mental capacity to just get through the day. The anxiety attack hurt my ability to run races. In 2019, I ran 3 races. The Rose Bowl 5K was where I started noticing a change. I had to work really hard to keep the pre-race anxiety down. When I ran the Big 5 5K race, it was even harder. I remember I had to work really hard on a plan to keep my emotions in check until the race would just start. By the time I got to the Minion 5K race at Universal Studios, I was a total mess until I got into the starting corrals. I had a couple rounds of dry heaves once I got off the freeway and found myself waiting in my car as long as I could. I then missed the Angels 5K race in 2019 because the dry heaves started right away on my drive to Anaheim. It was such a scary time. I missed running. But so much was going on in my life outside of running that I didn’t have the energy or focus to get me back on track.

By December 2019, I had signed up for the 2020 Star Wars Half Marathon in Walt Disney World. Signing up seemed to bring me back a little bit. In the last week of 2019, I even got out and ran 3 days that week. The momentum continued into the beginning of 2020. A cold killed off one week of training in 2020 and fighting for my job hurt some February training time. Then, COVID came in and destroyed it all. The Star Wars Half Marathon was cancelled just after the entire world shut down. It was a scary time to live through. I had no idea what was safe for training. I only completed 8 training runs in 2020. The first 6 were before COVID. As a matter of fact, from the time COVID shut us down, I didn’t run again until October. There were 2 runs in October….then nothing until June of 2021. That June run was one of 8 I would complete in 2021.

So, let’s look at where I’m at since I ran the 2017 TCS NYC Marathon, by year…

As you can see, it’s been a picture of diminishing returns. If you saw a fuller chart, you’d also see my speed gradually decreasing. So, when I signed up for the 2022 Virtual WDW 10K, it was another attempt to get myself going again. It didn’t work out so well.

First, I signed on to be my son’s soccer coach in the fall. That meant one soccer practice per week and a game every Saturday. As Coach, I had to be at them all….and 15 minutes early.

Once the season ended, a week or two later, I got a cold that wiped me out. Don’t worry, it wasn’t COVID. However, it meant that I would have to run the Virtual 10K without any training. Considering how 2018 – 2021 went in training, it wouldn’t have been wise of me to finish the entire 10K.

To finish this post out, it is important to look at where I’m at right now. So, here’s part of that picture…

I’m waaaaay out of shape. I’m totally undertrained. So, I shouldn’t expect to run as fast or as far as I think I can. Part of what killed my 2018 was the fact I knew I could finish a 5K race no matter how much or how little I training. It was incredibly frustrating that I couldn’t get past a certain point of my Couch to 5K program without watching the wheels fall off. That’s when the real retreat began. It’s also when everything went to really bad in my job. But, I felt like, after 3 tries, it wasn’t something I should have pursued. So, as I enter 2022, I am faced with the realities of where I’m at currently and where I want to go. This was supposed to be the year that prepared me to get ready for a Boston Marathon Qualifying time. Instead, 2022 is really about showing myself that I can still do really hard things. So many of my goals involve getting to a point where my 2023 goals can emerge and flourish. I’ll get into that more in my next post. Just know, the work is just starting.

It’s Finally Time to Get Serious About Running

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I keep hoping to get back to more regular blogging and life keeps getting in the way. Additionally, I keep hoping to get back to running consistently and life keeps getting in the way.

For example, I signed up for the Virtual Walt Disney World 10K and intended to complete this virtual 10K on Saturday (1 day after the actual WDW 10K). Even though I haven’t really trained all that much for this 10K, I was still planning on doing it. However, last Thursday, we found out that my son was exposed to a child that had tested positive for COVID-19 at his after school program. Since COVID isn’t something that is always detectable, the whole family was on lock down for the weekend. The good news is that my son tested negative for COVID on Friday and Monday! Additionally, my wife and I also tested negative! So, life is in the process of returning to normal. Right now, the plan is for me to head out to the Rose Bowl Loop to run my Virtual Walt Disney World 10K. I have extremely low expectations. But, I really want to do this and see where I’m at.

Once I get the virtual 10K done, the plan is to run 2 miles for 2 or 3 times next week. I say 2 or 3 times because I’m getting my COVID Booster Shot on Friday, January 21st and have no idea what that is going to do to me for the weekend. That second vaccination wiped me out for a little more than 24 hours. But, the first vaccination didn’t do that much to me. Among my friends, I’ve received mixed reviews of the booster shot. So, if I’m out of it for the weekend, there will be no running…and that will be okay.

The following week, I plan to up my running to 3 miles on all three runs. If I can, I plan on hitting up Arcadia High School on January 29th for a Jeff Galloway Magic Mile. I’m wanting to do this to give me realistic expectations as I head into my first half marathon training cycle since 2017. Yikes!

I’m all registered for the 2022 Rock n Roll San Diego Half Marathon for the first weekend of June. Hopefully, by the time this posts, I’ll be booked for the hotel we’ll be staying at for the race weekend and for the hotel we’re going to stay at for the two nights after. Since the race weekend is right after my son’s last day of kindergarten, we’re planning on making this trip to San Diego extra special by heading to Legoland on the way home! This will be my son’s first ever stay at a hotel. So, we’re hoping all goes well with that!

As for the race…I’m excited and totally freaked by it. With the way the new strain of COVID is behaving, I’m hoping there will be an in person race. I can’t wait to be running in a race again! I’m also looking forward to seeing how well it goes. Obviously, it’s way too early to know right now. This is a race I’ve seriously got to go with what my body tells me in training. It’s been a long time since I ran a half marathon. So, I have no idea how it will go. My main goal in this race is to give me a finish time to use with Disney.

After watching so many of my running friends run their races at Walt Disney World over the weekend, I can’t wait to join them next year. I’ve gone over the finances and logistics. All looks good for me to say that I’m going to run my one and only Dopey Challenge at the beginning of January 2023! We should have the money for my wife and boy to join me in Orlando. The only obstacle for them joining will be whether my son’s school district will allow him to miss the days of school.

Now that I’ve got some scary distance races on the plans, I’m hoping that this will be the year I finally get back to training. Depending on how the Rock n Roll San Diego Half Marathon works out, I’ve got a few other races I have my eye on. After all, if I can improve my seeding at Disney, I will do what I have to. Additionally, since my running plans include some rather huge challenges for 2023, I’m thinking of adding the 2022 Santa Monica Classic to the calendar along with the 2023 Pasadena Half Marathon. There’s a special medal that comes with finishing those races and the 2023 Los Angeles Marathon.

I’m finally in 2022! It’s time to get back to some serious running again.

Welcome Back to Running!

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This past week was so much fun! It’s like the running community is finally getting back to racing in person again. Due to COVID-19, the in-person races have been shut down for more than a year. Even though some races were run in October, this weekend seems like the weekend where it seemed we were returning to normal. Even tough it wasn’t totally normal.

Because so many spring races moved their dates, races like the Los Angeles Marathon were run in the fall! Another race I’ve run, the Orange County Marathon/Half Marathon was also pushed from it’s normal spot in May to this weekend!

So, in addition to the normal races, like the 50th running of the NYC Marathon this weekend, we had more to see on our social media feeds. I’ve got to admit that it was kind of fun to watch the last part of the NYC Marathon and then switch over to watch the Los Angeles Marathon on the same morning! Both races were really fun. In NYC, the United States had the 4th place finisher in both the Men’s and Women’s races! In LA, we saw the Men’s winner and the Women’s break away really early (mile 18 for the top woman and mile 19 for the top man). One cool thing about the men’s champ in LA is that he broke free early back in 2019 in LA, only to be caught in the last mile. This time, he just kept putting more distance between him and the second place finisher all the way to the finish line.

In addition to these races, runDisney was back! Not only was it back with the Wine and Dine Half Marathon Weekend, but so many runners whom I haven’t seen on social media were back and running at Disney. Watching everyone makes me want the races to return to the West coast more than ever!

Not only is in-person racing back, but I’ve finally had a full training week for the first time since the Pandemic shut us down. I started off last Monday with my first 2 miles in about a month or two. I’ve got to admit that this run was not pretty. There was a lot of huffing and puffing. But, I kept telling myself that my finish time doesn’t matter right now. Getting in miles consistently does. My goal was to run 30 seconds, walk 90 seconds for all 2 miles. That didn’t happen. The second mile is where things fell apart. However, I did keep to these run/walk intervals up through 1.25 miles.

On Thursday, I headed back out for another 2 miles. I had the same goals as on Monday….run 30 seconds, walk 90 seconds for 2 miles. Again, it didn’t happen. However, there was improvement as I ran more this time around. Crazy thing…this time around the running felt more normal! As I looked back in time, I realized that this was the first time I ran 2 training runs in the same week since one year prior. I felt good at the end of this run because it was faster and I felt better along the way.

So, Saturday night should have been better than on Thursday. Right? Wrong! This run was a big ol’ train wreck right from the beginning. For starters, I was running in new shorts that were kind of different from what I’ve used before. These ones had buit-in under shorts. So, it felt different. While I was walking to warm up, I could feel the difference. Even though if felt a little odd, I was determined to get this third run in the books. So, off I went. Only, that first run interval fizzled after only 5 seconds. The legs felt tight and the shorts felt weird. So, I gave up on the run interval very quickly. I even contemplated turning around and heading home. However, I remembered how Jeff Galloway preaches that if you have to walk the entire way, you should still finish the required distance. So, I began adjusting my shorts differently until I found some comfort and started my run intervals at the 2 minute mark. I fought back the desire to quit many times because I was already going. Why stop now?

By the time I got to the end, I felt accomplished. Why? Because I didn’t give up. Also, I realized that there are many runs I’ve had where the first two miles weren’t great, but things got better in mile 3. So, I shouldn’t put too much into my slow and hard start. As I head into this week, I have the same goal as last week. I want to run 2 miles 3 times. I believe that, if I do this, I will feel much better by the end of the week and ready to up the mileage to 3 miles per training run.

Getting back into running is hard work. It’s not fun to deal with the huffing and puffing. It’s not fun to run slower than you were used to doing. It’s not fun dealing with the way the body feels. However, one thing I’m realizing this time around, running doesn’t always make me feel great while I’m running. But, at the end of each run, I’m proud of what I accomplished. I’m pursuing a really big dream for 2023. It’s going to take the rest of 2021 and all of 2022 in order to get there. Even though I have enough time to be ready for Dopey 2023, I need to work hard on making it through each and every run. That is the winning ticket to finishing Dopey. Consistency. Something flipped for me this week. I hope it continues.

I’m In for the 2022 Virtual WDW 10K!

gloucks7 1 Comment

This week hasn’t been the week I was hoping for a week ago. However, there were some good things to report and a change to my plan for getting to Dopey in 2023 to share.

First off, I’m excited to report that I did register for the 2022 Virtual Walt Disney World 10K race! I’m super excited to be registered for a race again. While it’s not exactly the same as registering for an in-person race, the Virtual WDW 10K is something I believe I need in order to get myself off the couch and running again. From what I’ve read, I will get a 2022 WDW 10K shirt and finisher’s medal. Not sure if it will be the same one given to those who are running the race at Walt Disney World. That part doesn’t matter that much to me. The point is that I will get a race shirt and finisher’s medal, just like if I were at Walt Disney World. What I won’t get is the experience of running around EPCOT and the EPCOT resorts. I won’t get to run with thousands of other runners and experience the energy that comes from having such a gathering of runners. I won’t get the DJ and Race MC’s hyping me up. Truth be told, I’m not planning on running this race on the exact same day as the 10K will be run at Walt Disney World because running on Saturday makes more sense. It is my goal, however, to be ready to race this 10K on the same weekend as the WDW races so I can join in the social media fun.

One race that I had talked about last week was running the 2021 Aquarium of the Pacific 5K. While I do have the money to register for this race, I don’t have the Saturday morning off to be able to run this race. Why? This Fall, I’m going to be coaching my son’s AYSO soccer team. That means, my Saturday mornings in the fall are already booked. So, I can’t do the race. It’s okay, though. I will save the race entry fee. Also, for the first time in forever, I can train for a 10K race! I don’t think I’ve even looked for a 10K training plan since my first year of racing (2012). So, I’m looking forward to using the Jeff Galloway 10K training plan as I get ready for the 2022 Virtual WDW 10K. The plan starts on September 13th. All running before this will help. However, skipped runs won’t kill my 2023 Dopey Challenge dreams either.

Speaking of running, I finally did get out and do a run this week! That’s the good news. The bad news? It was only ONE run. However, it was good to get out and run with my son again. He’s convinced that he’s training for a marathon. It will be a sad day when he realizes that my distances are going to get to the point where he doesn’t want to run. This week, we got to run a full two miles. Of course, running with the boy meant that we had quite a few walk breaks and outright stop and rest breaks. For the first half mile, we did the run/walk/run with daddy’s intervals of run 30 seconds, walk 90 seconds, and repeat. After a half mile, we took our first stop. I tried to get him to keep going. But, by 0.60 miles, he didn’t want to run anymore. So, we continued toward the 1 mile point just walking. My boy is starting kindergarten in about 10 days! His school is divided in two campuses that are very close together. In our last run, we went to the campus he will be at from 2nd – 5th grades. This week, we went further to get to the campus he will be at for the next two years! It was kind of exciting to get there.

The downside, though, is that the play equipment were pretty much open to the public. So, instead of heading home, Colton needed some time to check out the new play equipment. So, I stopped the clock for a while. On the way home, I was totally expecting to walk the entire way. However, after about a quarter mile, Colton took over our run intervals. I didn’t time them. So, I have no idea how long each lasted. Each run came whenever he was inspired to run. So, that was fun.

While it’s been great to get out and run once, I know that my goals will require more than that. If you’ve watched the Olympics over the past week, you’ve probably heard all the talk surrounding Simone Biles. My opinion is that she did the right thing by withdrawing from competition. When you listen to the elite gymnasts talk about it, something that becomes incredibly evident is how important it is to be on point mentally. As a person who has attempted runs where I wasn’t there mentally, I can vouch that this isn’t only true of gymnastics, but other areas of life as well. This comeback for me is quite frustrating because of how many runs have already been missed. Since I’m not doing that 5K in October, my focus has changed. Between now and September 13th, I’m looking to merely build momentum. If I can get myself running 3 miles 3 times a week…AWESOME! If not, it’s okay. The training plan takes me from a first weekend “long run” of 1.5 miles to a max of 6.5 miles in December. I’m not chasing any finishing times with this virtual 10K. I just want to get my body to the point where I can do it again.

Depending on how my times look on the 10K day, I’ll evaluate what kinds of goals I want to pursue for the 2022 Rock n Roll San Diego Half Marathon. Since there are 3 weeks between the Virtual 10K and when I need to start training for the Rock N Roll San Diego Half Marathon, I’m planning on taking the weekend before my RnR San Diego training to do one of those Jeff Galloway Magic Miles to help me with my goal setting. After all, it is likely that my time at the RnR San Diego Half Marathon will be my proof of time for the 2023 Dopey. Since the goal of Dopey is merely to finish and show myself that I can do really hard things again, my finish time at RnR San Diego ultimately doesn’t matter too much. I mean, I’d love to avoid the last corral for those Dopey Challenge races. My secondary goal for Dopey is see where my physical condition is as I get ready for the 2023 Los Angeles Marathon. There ‘s a part of me that wants the LA Marathon to be the one where I finally have a sub 6 hour race.

While I didn’t get in all the running I had hoped for this week, I did manage to have some fun. Swimming with my boy is always fun!

Also, Colton is really interested in baseball right now. So, we went to the park and worked on his throwing and catching the ball.

I hope that you’re all doing well and getting out there to pursue your dreams (whatever they may be). Let’s make this coming week LEGENDARY!

Ready to Roll This Week

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I’m writing this post on Sunday afternoon for a Monday morning post. However, I feel like I’m finally in the right place to get going on all these running goals. Actually, I feel like life is finally starting to move in the right direction again!

For starters, last Friday was the last day of the probation period for my job. Guess what? I’m still working! Getting past the probation means a raise and the addition of healthcare benefits. That alone is worthy of being excited about. Since getting fired by Disney on my birthday last year, my family has had MediCal Insurance. The great part is that this insurance didn’t cost us anything. The bad part is that we got what we paid for. While having any insurance is a good thing, you don’t always get quality service. That was our experience with MediCal. The service was awful. So, getting back to higher cost healthcare is a good thing. Plus, if I read my employer’s information correctly, it looks like my wife will get to go back to her doctors and my boy will get to go back to his. I’m the only one who has to find someone new. So, that’s pretty cool!

The part about getting to keep my job that means the most, though, is proving to myself that I do have it within me to be a paralegal. I do know my work product enough to know that I’ve got a lot of room to grow. Fortunately, my boss knew this going into hiring me. Obviously, my performance must not have been too disappointing or I’d be looking for a new job right now. Last week was a little emotional for me because it told me that I’m better at my job than my previous boss let me believe. I do miss working at Disney. It was my dream company to work for. But, I now have a boss that understands where I’m at and sees potential in me to grow. Now that these 90 days are over, I can settle into the job and just focus on getting better. It’s a nice place to be!

Now that the job situation is settled, I can feel the mental shift happening to where I can start working on other parts of life. A benefit of having a job is finding the ability to plan again. Just today, the wife and I worked out our plans for our 12th Wedding Anniversary (happening August 8th)! We also worked out what to do on my birthday (August 28th). What are we doing???

We’re going to Disneyland!!!!!!!!!! I’m beyond excited to return to my favorite place on the planet! Aaaaaaaaand, I’m getting to use comp tickets I earned while working for Disney to get in! Even better! I went online to see what was available and my birthday was open for Disneyland. I put in the comp ticket numbers and they were accepted. So, for the first time since January 2020, I’ll be heading to the original Disney theme park and my happy place! I can’t wait!

The other plan that will be put into action this week is that I plan on signing up for the 2022 WDW Virtual 10K on July 30th! While it’s not as exciting as getting to run through the parks, it’s a start. Also, it gives me incentive to get out and run again this week. In addition to that, either this week or next week, I’m planning on signing up for the Aquarium of the Pacific 5K, which is part of the Long Beach Marathon Weekend. Hopefully, training for these races will set me up nicely for the training I’ll need to complete for the 2022 Rock n Roll San Diego Half Marathon. Then, around a month after that, training will begin for the 2023 Dopey Challenge. So, the dominoes are starting to align.

All that’s left is get out and run. Next week, I believe that I’ll finally have some training runs to report on. Wish me luck! It’s time.